That sinking feeling

At this point a week ago I was lying in my garden with my youngest relaxing across me. The sun was warm on us and it was a rare quiet moment. It was still holidays but I was preempting my return to work after 6 weeks off. I was being met with the ball of …

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The sinking feeling of loosing our home

I share this picture of beautiful flowers because a friend gave them to me today. She felt I needed a reason to smile and I did.  She had been with me having a cuppa and I don't think I was really present. I'm not at the moment; easily distracted, vague in my commitments and definitely …

I am a working mum, working hard to be mum.

I am a working mum. Over this lovely festive period I was sat on the sofa in my parents house and my middle child was sat next to me. Something amusing happened, I can't recall but I must have laughed out loud. My son said "Mummy, I never hear you laugh". It was a proper …

Domestic violence.

Today I was immersed in the unpleasant horror of domestic violence. This is part of my job. But today it wasn't the actual acts of violence or control that I was supporting someone through. Today I was witnessing the long-term and, I guess, bigger picture of domestic abuse. I was experiencing the system allow a …

The pieces of me

I'm thinking about myself; which pieces of me come from where, at what stage of life, which piece of me was winning. Some of this comes from having children. I watch mine growing and changing and I wonder which pieces of them are from me or their dad (none of them have proven to be …

Not for the appreciation

I am a Family support worker (aka social worker, youth worker, counsellor, family therapist, play worker, teacher, negotiator, mental health nurse, and receptionist). I work in a primary school and we've  just had the end of school year, and whilst the staff around me receive gifts, whilst I rush around getting the right gifts for …

Street life: an ode to my road

I've been thinking about writing this for a while. Then the last few weeks has seen some horrid and upsetting news. The political climate is one that has many (myself included) feeling angry and disoriented. And so I thought I would focus on sharing something positive and representative of the world I want for my …

“It’s soooooo UNFAIR!”

My daughter is demanding to know how many of the sleep-overs she's been invited to in the next 2 weeks that she can go on. Obviously she wants to go to them all. She's 9 (and 3/4). She still sleeps for 12 hours a night if allowed. Sleep-overs turn her into a shadow of her …

Inner strength

For as long as I can remember in my mums battle with her mental health she has told me, and anyone else listening, that she is a weak person. This is something she utters when she is low, and it often forms the basis of her negative thoughts. She seems to believe that because she …

Waxing Lyrical – what social media gives me

I want to get something down 'on paper' about social media & mental illness, something positive. Particularly for those living with others mental health issues. When I was a teen, social media didn't exist (imagine that!). I remember our family getting our first computer, a humongous PC with dial up internet that never worked or …